Monday, 10 August 2009

Dwele - I Think I Love U

I've fallen in love twice.

The first time was with Francis Goulden. We played adults for a short while but it was uncomfortable for both of us. She suppressed her inner child and it made her so uptight. One day I chided her for talking to some animals. "They don't understand you" I said, and her eyes turned sad. They stayed that way until we split. She had to ask me for a ring, I'd never offered, and I bought a vase instead. I just couldn't do it. We broke up shortly after ending a three year relationship.

The second time was with Agnes Willow, a girl who was exactly the same height as me, and we looked like brother and sister. We took it in turns to be the tallest, and this was contingent on our choice of footwear on any given day. We fell in love hard and fast - it was intense and exclusive. I tried not to talk of our affair amongst my friends for fear of over-intellectualising or encouraging the intervention of fate in our perfect synergy. Hence they felt locked out, and still ask questions to this day. Ultimately, I needn't have concerned myself with such intricacies. I became consumed by a need to self-destruct, and with the sublety of a wrecking ball executed a six month long campaign of triviality driven break-ups and make-ups. I pushed her too far and she asked me to leave. We don't talk now.

What knits these two episodes together is that I fell in love within days of initiating each relationship, around 72 hours in. It's a headfuck because you're fighting an instinct to resist falling in love before six weeks, or two months max, and it all feels a bit psychotic.

Dwele nails this rapid awareness, that immediate moment when you realise you've met a long-term lover rather than a short-term distraction, like no other. This song is stunning.

I Think I Love U by Dwele at Spotify

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